We’re moving! (Talk about transitions).

Hello everyone!

My husband, daughter, and I are moving to a new place in mid-April. We are very excited but also appropriately stressed out! Moving can be A LOT of work, especially with a little toddler.

So, I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about transitions. Changes can be hard for children, whether they are big changes, like moving, or smaller/everyday changes, like going from lunch time to nap time. There are many strategies to help children with transitions and it is important to note that there is not a one-size fits all strategy. What works for one child may not work for another.

In our case, our daughter is still a little young to fully understand what moving means, but we have been making sure to talk to her about her new house and new room. We have been talking about all the fun new parks we will get to go to. Also, letting her know that mom and dad and our dog Tali will also have a new room in the new house with her. Now this strategy that we are using is making a child aware of a coming transition. This can either work really well for children or not be effective. I have had experiences where you let a child know about the transition and talk about it, and it actually causes them anxiety. So, like I said before, you just have to feel out what works best for your child.

One of the hardest transitions, in my opinion, is going from playing to having to do something else (like snack time, lunchtime, nap, etc.) Children are busy having fun and learning through their play that they don’t want to stop what they are doing. For me, I have found that using choice as an option works really well. Now, I don’t mean to give them the choice to continue playing and not have lunch but rather give them a choice to keep playing for a certain amount of time and then have lunch. It is important to keep in mind that children do not understand what minutes or hours are. So when you say, “five more minutes” they have no frame of reference for this. What you can do is use a visual timer or a timer on your phone if you have nothing else. Songs are also a great one to use. Once the song or songs end your child will know that play time is over.

Using a transition activity can be helpful. It can be whatever you choose or whatever your child likes best. Whether it is reading a book, doing a dance, playing a song, playing games like GO, GO, STOP, etc., if your child enjoys it and understands that this is the transition into the next thing then it could be very effective. It is important to let your child know that "we do this, and then that" otherwise they will think the activity is just an extension of play and not leading into the next thing. I find this statement very helpful with my daughter. For example, if she is building with blocks before lunchtime, I will tell her that "we can build one more tower and then lunch" (or yum-yums - I need to adjust my words to her development sometimes). This usually works really well, but of course there is the odd time where I need to adjust my strategy and try something new.

My last strategy for helping with transitions is visual schedules. If it helps your child to physically see what is going to happen then visual schedules are a great option. You can even find some free templates online or they are easy to buy online as well (ex. Amazon). A visual schedule can be used to break big tasks into smaller steps, such as if it is time to brush teeth then this can be broken down simpler than just saying "time to brush teeth." You can use the visual schedule to show that first we walk into the bathroom, grab the toothbrush, put on toothpaste, wet the brush, scrub teeth, spit out toothpaste into sink, rinse off toothbrush, and put toothbrush back in holder. These visual schedules can help children to visualize what the upcoming task will look like.

Transitions can be tricky and draining for both you and your child. Even when we find a transition strategy that works one day it may not work the next day. So be mindful to keep a few strategies up your sleeve and make note of which ones work best most of the time. Just like adults, children have many different emotions, and they come out in different ways, so we need to remain flexible and supportive to those emotions.

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Tiana